For those of you still bothering with reading my journal entries and looking at my (dwindling) works of art, I've decided to update.

I just wanted to let you guys know that my dad, Carl Henry, committed suicide on December 6, 2008. He and my step-mom were fighting (unusual for them), and it got to the point of divorce. Well, Dad called her the day before he died and told her that he didn't want to get a divorce, he loved her, and he'd see her on the 12th for a reconcilliation meeting with their church. He was found in the woods surrounding our community the next day. It took police three hours to find his body. I don't know if I've told you guys in a previous entry, but my dad and I were best friends. You know the saying that says that best friends are one soul existing in two bodies? Yeah. That was Dad and me. And then he went and committed suicide two weeks before Christmas, finals, winter break (which my sister and I were supposed to spend with him), etc.

My dad's going to miss my graduation this Spring, my going to/graduating from college, my getting engaged... I don't have anyone to walk me down the aisle and give me away at my wedding anymore. I don't have my video game-playing buddy anymore. I won't get to hear his awful jokes or his laugh anymore. He won't call to check in on me and my sister anymore. Mom can't threaten to call my dad and tell him on me anymore. We can't talk anymore. We can't read together anymore. What am I supposed to do, guys? He's left me alone with people who don't understand me nearly as well as he did. Who am I supposed to go to and cry about things now? My mom has no patience for that, and her entire side of the family is the same. Dad's side is scattered all over the country, but none of them live anywhere near me, and my step-mom is contesting Dad's will, which my mom was made executor of, so that's a no-go. I don't know what to do anymore.